Please Don't Rate This Post--Unless You Want To!
My doctor's visit has just ceased I've barely left her clutches When my Apple watch begins to chime And jerks me off my crutches.* It's not the instructions that give me pause I know it's good to read 'em It's the final line all marked in bold That has my ulcers steamin'* "Won't you please go rate my care, The highest score the better So that on Yelp and Docs on Call I'll be the best bone-setter." "Did the receptionist smile when you paid your bill? Did our valet park your car right? Was the coffee hot when you filled your mug? We need the rating airtight!" Wherever you go, whatever you do Your compelled now to relate it What's right, what's wrong. no in-between And you better not predate it. The plumber and the moving man Your barber and Mom's electrician Want ten points on a ten point scale They should pay me a commission! When I buy doo-dads on Amazon A hose or some eye-glass cleaner Jeff Bezos's boys will send a link That to ignore's a misdemeanor. "Was the product shipped in a timely way? Did it meet your satisfaction? Did the nozzle leak, did the cleaner smear? Did we take the proper action?" I understand about data points They want customers with opinions But for me it's just a waste of time I'm not one of the rating minions. To one request I will respond When my time on earth is nigh done. And the God above says "Rate your life." I'll say "Dear Lord I had a fine one!"
*To my dear friends who may worry, I currently have neither broken bones or painful ulcers!